BEARFIELD TWP, OH — Let’s be truthful here. Most outdoor stories about hunting and fishing are aimed at guys. However, this article is not. I am specifically casting this lure at the women of the world who have a husband, son, grandson, nephew, or boyfriend who is an angling addict, and you’re staring a Christmas stocking squarely in its non-bulging toe.
Forget the tie idea. We don’t like ties. Guys who have to wear one on the job do not like ties even if they pretend to do so. Want proof? What’s the first thing Tie Guy does when the workday ends or the boss is looking the other way? When the job stress is oozing from his pores like water from a squeezed sponge, what does Tie Guy do first? He loosens that tie like his life depends on how quickly he can release the grip it has on his throat.
Allow me to narrow the angling angle to only include bass fishermen since we are the anglers most susceptible to buying more fishing tackle than all other fishermen combined. Need examples? A saugeye guy can fill a one pound coffee can with jigheads, buy a fifty count pack of curlytail grubs, and he can fish the whole season. Throw in a few bobbers and a bucket of minnows and you have crappie guy covered. I know catfishmen who use nuts and bolts for sinkers to lower smelly chunks of chicken liver to tempt those whiskered bottom dwellers.
However, bass fishermen require anywhere from a sampling to an inexhaustible supply of every lure variety on the market. I plead guilty to this charge and all the charges about to be presented to this “court” of readers. I know one guy who looks like he’s loading groceries for a family of fifteen when he puts his fishing tackle in my boat for a one day fishing trip. Once we hit the water, he throws one bait (same color too) all day 99 per cent of the time. Of course, I follow his lead like the rats that followed that dude with the flute and pointy hat.
Does the bass angler in your life buy lures from January to March for any of these reasons… they were on sale marked down 20 per cent! (after a 32 per cent markup from last year)…. fear of running out of the 500 exact same baits he already has…. “You never know when this bait will be discontinued, honey” (because apparently none of his other thousands of lures are any good).
Ladies, (I use this term to describe you when I should say, Angels), I have the solution. The fishing item I am about to describe is small but relatively expensive, and not sold in stores anywhere. These are all qualities bass fishermen value more than oxygen. The small factor aids in their never ending quest to keep a secret lure just that. The high price obviously means this lure is a guaranteed bass snatching machine. And the limited access means very few if any of his tournament buddies (read those, ‘livebait breath mouth breathers’) will have this lure unless their better half ( read two-thirds) sees this article.
The item in question is a crankbait made by John Hott from Kettering, Ohio. John makes a variety of shallow diving crankbaits with any color scheme imaginable. By trade John is a professional painter, and his crankbaits are a dead giveaway to that fact. He has even invented the machine that transforms a block of balsa into the what will become a beautiful bass catching bait.
If John charged customers based on the time he puts into making one bait, you would have use your car as a trade-in to lower the sticker price. However, for a much more reasonable price of $20, you can fill an empty stocking and put an ajax proof smile on your angler’s face. If you don’t have any idea of what color scheme to select, John can help you with that too. Tell him you would like the Darting R or a Long Darting R crankbait in a shad or shiner imitating scheme. The man already has those baits ready to ship. Or ask him for one of those baits in any color scheme that he considers good for fooling largemouth bass.
The best way to contact my good friend John is by phone at (937) 269-9345. John has been handcrafting lures for a long time, and an in-depth conversation with him lets you know that he has as much science in his baits as he does skill. I recently spent the best part of a day with John in his Kettering bait lab. Several of his creations now live with me in Perry County.
Buying for a bass fisherman is both easy and difficult. The tackle shops are lined with a seemingly unlimited supply of choices. But for an inexperienced shopper, selecting a lure that impresses your giftee they way you want it to do is a tough task. By contacting a master craftsman like John Hott, the odds of a successful stocking stuffer are “stuffed” in your favor. One more piece of solid advice, ladies, when it comes to buying for your bass guy.
Just say no to anything plaid.